He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize