3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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