Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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