Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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