Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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