so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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