can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
