sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
