At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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