so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
