What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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