cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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