Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
