woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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