Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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