Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
