The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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