do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize