dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
