Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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