You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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