i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
