I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
