i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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