Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
