i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
