maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
