I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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