Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
