Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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