So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
