You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
