If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
