But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
