the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
