I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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