If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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