My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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