he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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