i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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