Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
