Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize