i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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