Soap is not a condiment
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
