I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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