I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
