ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.