No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
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man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
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and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.