u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
