New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this will be a night to untag.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
