You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
