It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
