im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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