where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize