I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
