OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
