Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize