i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize